The best seat in the house is the view from the couch

Week 16 Recap

Quick thoughts while signing up for yet ANOTHER blog site (MySpace)...

So, this MySpace shit is actually pretty cool. Just by signing up and attaching myself at the hip to my friend Knob’s site, I immediately joined the “Extended Network” of a bunch of cool people, most notably Howard Stern, Dave Attell, Jenna Jameson, Nick Lachey and William Hung (not too proud of the last two). Actually, that doesn’t mean much – it seems everyone is in an extended network of some sort. But I’m not gonna lie to you – I’m not cool enough to be in the same category as any of those people.

Well, I might have William Hung beat...

n What the hell happened to the Chicago Bears? I turned the game off at 24-7 with 8 minutes to go (and my -7.5 cover well in hand), and when I check back later, they gave up 10 unanswered and TOTALLY screwed me over! Sons of bitches – that’s the last time you’ll get any of my money!

n What an unbelievable final in the fantasy football playoffs last night. Trailing by 18 points with Tom Brady yet to play, my buddy Chris came within inches of taking home the 2005 Ashford Fantasy League (AFL) Championship. Brady’s 17 fantasy points were all he could muster before he sat in favor of Doug Flutie late in the (real) game, and Chris watched helplessly as he fell one point short of a title. Hell of a run. Congrats to Andy and the Demo Team, who finally got the Championship win after back to back seasons coming up one game short. Andy’s two trades with league commissioner Vinny could easily go down as the worst in the history of all fantasy sports. In two trades, Andy managed to acquire Carson Palmer, Plaxico Burress, Larry Johnson and Keenan McCardell in exchange for Drew Bledsoe, Andre Johnson, Marvin Harrison and Braylon Edwards, with Rudi Johnson and Tiki Barber switching teams and then switching back four weeks later. Inexcusable GM work from Vinny (and yes, I realize that my lack of movement on a T.O. deal two weeks before he was canned for the year basically doomed my season).

OK, sorry. For those of you not involved in that league, the last five minutes much have been excruciatingly boring. Let’s get back to real topics...

n So... Jeff Reardon. Uh... what exactly was that? And more importantly, did the Palm Beach Gardens police get credit for the hold? (I’ll hold for the groans as the terrible attempt at humor passes...)

n Welcome back to the NFL, Ricky Williams.

n Steve Smith may have cost the Panthers the playoffs. It’ll be interesting to see how big this becomes if Carolina comes up one game short.

n Speaking of coming up short... what the hell happened to the Bengals on Saturday? I mean, the “Santa Chad” routine was good, but it kind of pales in comparison to Terrence “The Grinch” McGee and his monster game. It’s almost like Cincinnati is simply happy to have clinched the division. I can’t wait to bet against them in the playoffs...

n Ditto for Jacksonville in any game they might be favored in... Though with their first round opponent guaranteed to be either New England or Cincy, there’s no way they’ll be favored...

n Speaking of New England – was that an impressive Monday Night game or what? First Monday nighter in a long time that I’ve watched start to finish (mostly because I was praying for a 7-point Pats win). If I’m Indianapolis right now, I’m starting to look over my shoulder a little...

n Although the Broncos are coasting to the #2 seed and a complete lack of credibility in the national media. I like their chances, a lot. No one is going to go into Denver and beat them, and they could certainly give a fight to Indy indoors...

n I was impressed by:

o The Patriots. See above.

o The Steelers. Wow. 209 rushing yards and 41 points? Against a Romeo Crennel defense? That’s cartoonish.

o The Cowboys & Redskins. Who would have thought that the NFC East would be the tightest division in football this year? Certainly not me...

o The Dolphins. You wait. The AFC East is going to be a tight race in 2006. No question that Miami will be in contention.

n I was appalled by:

o New York. Giants blow a big game, and the Jets put up absolutely no fight until the game is out of reach. Nice work fellas. At least the Jets can look forward to Reggie Bush if they lose next week, and the Texans, Saints and Packers all win. All the Giants have to look forward to is a first-round playoff exit if Eli Manning doesn’t fix whatever’s wrong with him in a hurry...

o Minnesota. Way to blow it at the end guys. I was planning to drive that bandwagon into a wall in Week 17 – looks like I blew a flat one week early. Well, at least they can book their off-season team cruise in advance now... hey, maybe Mike Tice could even scalp tickets – I’m sure half of the men in America would stand in line for them!

o San Francisco. They killed the dream of a “play-in” game to decide who the worst team in the NFL is next week. Now we have to sort through complex mathematical formulas and watch five different games just to figure out who gets the honor of being dead last. That is, assuming of course, that Houston wins in Week 17 against the Niners. Considering how inept NFL teams seem to be at throwing games this year, I fully expect the New Orleans Saints (oops, sorry - Los Angeles Saints of Louisiana) to end up with the #1 pick, then blow it on Matt Leinart or Vince Young. What a joke.

n Could someone please explain to me how Brett Favre is still starting football games? It’s really ugly. It actually pains me to watch, yet there’s enough of a cringe factor involved that I can’t turn away. Plus, with Favre’s history of throwing up a monster game just when everyone had him written off for dead, you’ve got to keep tuning in to see if he’s going to post one of those 425yd, 4 TD games just one more time.

Quote of the Week:

Actually a sign, not a quote. I took Thursday and Friday off of work last week to relax before the holidays. On Thursday, I drove to Foxwoods with my friends Don and Jay. On the way down, we passed a road emergency sign that read the following:

“Transit Emergency. AVOID NEW YORK CITY”.

Now, although I enjoy driving through New York City, I’ve never spent any considerable amount of time in the city itself, so that sentiment couldn’t have rung any truer for me.

Just trust me. AVOID NEW YORK CITY. For your own good. It became a running theme of the car ride.

Maybe you had to be there.

Lata.

posted by Big D @ 5:39 PM