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Week 16 Rants & Ranks

I finally got around to watching "Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby" this week. Wow. I cannot express to you just how much my head hurt after watching that movie. It was funny, sure. But so many parts of it just left me with a "Wait - what the hell just happened?" kind of look on my face.

Kind of like the NFC right now...

Onto the Week 16 Rants & Ranks:

1. San Diego (1): One week, I'm praising them for being the most complete team in the NFL, the next week, I'm ripping the system for allowing a proven cheater entry into the Pro Bowl. I already posted this in my comments on another blog, but here's the argument again: How is Shawne Merriman even eligible for the Pro Bowl? Shouldn't he have to forfeit the right to earn any type of individual honor for the year when he is caught using a banned substance? And I'm talking, like every individual award, from Player of the Week up to League MVP. The only thing that will get into these players' heads is a hit to the wallet, and losing out on individual honors usually equates to losing out on mega-bonus money in their contracts. That's my proposal - you get caught cheating, you lose your right to be honored for the rest of the year, and stripped of any previous honors from that season...
2. Baltimore (2): The top two remain unchanged for the first time in a while. Of course, this is dependant on the health of Steve McNair, much like the Ravens' postseason chances.
3. Dallas (4): Until they prove me wrong, I'm going to keep them up high in the ranks. They've beaten some tough competition, and although the pass defense seems to be a little suspect, I believe they can figure out the problem in time to fix it for the postseason.
4. Indianapolis (7): They're still not a true Super Bowl contender, not until they figure out how to stop the run. But if Peyton Manning is as effective as he was against the Bengals last week, they might be able to outshoot anyone they run in to.
5. New Orleans (3): Does last week's game qualify as a "hiccup", or just a standard trap game. They stomped Dallas in Week 14, got their lunch handed to them against The Redskins, of all teams, and not have to go into the Meadowlands with playoff seeding on the line against the Giants.
6. New England (8): I'm not getting real excited about a 40-7 blowout of Houston, In New England, in December. The Texans are not exactly the class of the NFL. If they can beat the Jags this week, then come talk to me.
7. Jacksonville (5): If either or both running backs are healthy, and Vince Wilfork is still missing from the Patriots defensive line, the Jags are going to run wild over the Patriots. Otherwise, it's a three-point game.
8. Chicago (9): Love him or hate him, Rex Grossman has put together back-to-back solid games. And it looks like he's got another favorable match up against the Lions this week.
9. Philadelphia (12): I can't believe I'm saying this, but 2006 is shaping up to be the second time in the past four years that a backup QB has led the Eagles to the playoffs after Donovan McNabb was lost to injury for a majority of the season. What's that say about McNabb?
10. Pittsburgh (11): Since getting shut out in Baltimore a month ago, the Steelers have gone 3-0, outscoring their opponents 20-3, 27-7, and 37-3. Or by a combined 84-13. Admittedly, it was Tampa Bay, Cleveland and a banged-up Carolina team, but it's still impressive.
11. New York Jets (13): I've completely run out of superlatives for this team. Let's just say that if they manage to break the top 10, this will officially go down as the weirdest NFL season in a long time.
12. Cincinnati (6): I'd like to drop them further, but they're still better than any team below them.
13. Tennessee (16): When the season started, did anybody honestly think that the Titans would have an easier road to the playoffs in Week 16 than the Steelers?
14. Atlanta (14): I will never, ever, own Mike Vick on another fantasy football team. The mental strain isn't worth the possible payoff. (Yes, I benched him last week in favor of Steve McNair...)
15. Seattle (10): Well, as long as they don't have to play San Francisco or Arizona anymore, they should be fine...
16. New York Giants (17): Somehow, they're still the #6 seed in the NFC. If the playoffs started today, three NFC East teams would make it in. God I can't wait to bet on the playoffs this year...
17. Denver (18): They won, so they move up. But they only beat Arizona, so they only go up one spot. A win this week against the Bengals will prove a lot more to me.
18. San Francisco (24): The 49ers get the "one yard short" award for this season. They need to win out and catch some breaks to make the playoffs. This week is certainly a winnable game (Arizona). But next week against Denver will probably end the dream.
19. Kansas City (19): I actually felt bad last week, after I took a shot at the griping of Lamar Hunt at the end of last season regarding not having enough teams in the NFL playoffs. Of course, I didn't know he was on death's door. Sometimes I'm glad no one reads this page.
20. Buffalo (23): Cannot ignore the fact that they are 7-7 right now. I don't think anybody would have put the Bills anywhere near .500 this season - Hell, I had them at 5-11. Of course, I had the Jets at 3-13, and the Dolphins at 11-5. Ya know - I think I'll just stop talking now.
21. Miami (15): They're officially eliminated from the playoffs. Finally. I was looking forward to being able to bet against Joey Harrington in the playoffs, but it look like I'll have to settle for Jay Cutler and Rex Grossman.
22. St. Louis (20): They managed to drop two spots after a shutout win on the road. See - this is why ranking is an imperfect science. The Rams shutout the Raiders in Oakland, but I still don't believe they're better than any of the 21 teams above them. Even Miami would be a coin flip. By the way - the Rams are, somehow, still not eliminated from playoff contention...
23. Green Bay (27): ...Neither are the Packers...
24. Carolina (21): ...Or the Panthers...
25. Minnesota (25): ... Or the Vikings. Maybe parity isn't such a good thing after all. Of course, this way, games in Week 16 still mean something for a lot of teams.
26. Arizona (22): Luckily, the Cardinals (and everyone below them) are eliminated. Arizona is the "best of the rest" - they've got a bright future with Matt Leinart, Edgerrin James, and that receiving corps. All they need is an offensive line, and maybe a couple defensive playmakers. They're still two years away.
27. Cleveland (26): They're going to end the season looking a lot better than they actually are, with games against Tampa Bay and Houston. But make no mistake - this team has a lot of work to do to even think about contending in that division.
28. Washington (31): Nice win against the Saints last week. Here's a thought - with Ladell Betts running wild to end the season, do you think the Skins entertain offers for Clinton Portis this offseason?
29. Tampa Bay (32): The only team of the four remaining that actually put up a fight last week. And they nearly knocked off the #1 seed in the conference. They played their asses off for the final fifteen minutes. Too bad they couldn't do it for all sixty.
30. Houston (28): This is how bad the bottom of the barrel is - Houston was the only one of the bottom three teams to score a touchdown last week, and they lost 40-7. The Rams shut out Oakland, and Detroit managed only three field goals in Green Bay.
31. Detroit (30): Can't put them last - at least they managed to score points against an abysmal defense...
32. Oakland (29): The Raiders turned the ball over five times and put up zero points against one of the five worst defenses in the NFL. Welcome back to the basement - we've been waiting for you!

And, quickly, a pick for tonight's game:

PACKERS (-3.5) over VIKINGS: I had originally picked the Vikings to win this outright, but then I thought about it. Minnesota is starting a rookie QB, in Lambeau, in late December, in what could easily be Brett Favre's final home game as a Packer. I changed my mind awful fast.

I'll be back tomorrow with the rest of the picks for the weekend.

Lata.

posted by Big D @ 10:12 AM