Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Week 10 Rants and Ranks

Gotta tell you guys, I feel bad for the Jets.

They are stuck in a bad spot this week. Either the Patriots take out all the frustrations of the 5-turnover loss to Indy and surgically dismantle New York, or the Jets take advantage or the Patriots’ distractions, only the national media decides that New England lost the game rather than New York winning it.

The Jets can’t win in Week 10.

Other thoughts before the Week 10 Ranks & Rants:

n The Bears… um… Oops? Would that be an appropriate response to that gag job last week against Miami? Yikes. That oughtta knock them down a couple of pegs. Let’s see how they respond now that they’re in the toughest stretch of their season.

n Oakland is just sad. Coughing up nine sacks is bad enough. Allowing a team starting Seneca Wallace at QB and Maurice Morris at RB to dominate you that badly is inexcusable.

n Ok everybody, time to jump off the Rams’ bandwagon. Make sure you hit the ground rolling so as to avoid injury. Maybe they’ll double back and pick you up again in a couple of weeks.

n Same goes for the Falcons’ bandwagon. Yeesh. No reason at all to be stomped like that by the Lions. The LIONS!

OK – time for this week’s ranks. Much less commenting by me than last week – that was kind of an introductory set of ranks, this one I’m leaving up for discussion if necessary.

Here goes…

1. Indianapolis. Like there was any doubt. Dominant, but still not a championship team with that defense.

2. Denver. But if their defense is as decimated as it looks from this week’s injury report, they’re in a lot of trouble.

3. New York Giants. Ditto.

4. New England. Two losses. To team #1 & team #2. Can’t drop them too far down for two losses by 17 points combined to the top two teams in the league.

5. Chicago. Fluke. I think.

6. San Diego. Gotta see how they handle a real team without their best defensive player.

7. Baltimore. Still don’t trust the offense. But they’re scary good if the offense is for real.

8. New Orleans. I just can’t shake the fact that they are, in fact, still the Saints. Maybe in another couple weeks.

9. Jacksonville. David Garrard is your starter for the rest of the year. He’s not flashy, but he’s a winner. Kind of like Jay Fiedler. Uh Oh…

10. Kansas City. Cannot deny the fact that Damon Huard is 6-1 as a starter this year. The Chiefs got stuck with two of the best teams in the conference in their own division, but they could still manage a Wild Card.

11. Philadelphia. Bye Week. Not sure where to put them otherwise.

12. Dallas. They dominated that game from the starting gun until about 0:53 seconds left in the fourth. Still can’t get over that finish though…

13. Atlanta. Anybody else finally succumb to the fantasy league pier pressure and start Mike Vick this week, only to spend most of the day Sunday screaming at your computer screen? Yeah, me neither…

14. St. Louis. That defense is atrocious. The offense still looks good, but the defense, I mean, ugh…

15. Cincinnati. I can’t imagine that they could beat any of the 14 teams above them.

16. Carolina. Another victim of the bye week. They have a favorable schedule the rest of the way, but they’re playing catch-up with both the Saints and the Falcons. Could be a tough road.

17. Seattle. Nice win over a lousy team. Let’s see them do it against a team with a pulse.

18. New York Jets. I’m actually looking forward to the game this week with the Patriots. Should be a helluva game, with the Jets having the bye to prepare, and the Pats having something to prove after this week.

19. San Francisco. This is what it’s come to. The 49ers are the 18th best team in football right now. One of four teams at 3-5, I just think they could beat the other three on a neutral field.

20. Green Bay. Brett Favre throws a pick, they’re 0-4. Brett Favre doesn’t throw a pick, they’re 3-1. Gee, I see a correlation. Do you?

21. Buffalo. They’re a solid team at home. They just can’t win on the road. They could easily end the season at 7-9, which considering their preseason expectations, would be a huge moral victory.

22. Minnesota. I know, seems a little low for a team at 4-4, sticking them between a 3-5 and a 2-6. But they’ve looked completely overwhelmed the past two weeks by the Patriots (understandable) and the 49ers (inexcusable). They need a statement win, and fast.

23. Cleveland. They’re putting up a fight with the best of them, as evidenced by their close game with the Chargers last week. They’re close – not this year, but soon.

24. Tennessee. I don’t like the way they’re bottling up Vince Young down there. Reminiscent of Mike Vick before the Falcons decided to let him do what he does best – make things happen.

25. Washington. They’re a ridiculous sequence of a blocked kick / facemask / sick return / 47-yard field goal from being 2-6, and a 50+ yard overtime touchdown from being 1-7. Why would I put them any higher?

26. Miami. Impressive win in Chicago last week. Of course, when you get six turnovers, and your offense rarely has to go more than 40 yards to hit paydirt, you’re going to win a few games.

27. Pittsburgh. Something about “The Mighty” and “Falling” comes to mind here.

28. Houston. Classy move there, ripping off the Giants’ jumpshot celebration. Try winning a couple more games, and then celebrate all you want.

29. Detroit. I guess they have to get a little respect you know, after beating the Falcons and all… Here’s a one spot bump. Let’s see what they do with it.

30. Tampa Bay. Guess Bruce Gradkowski isn’t the next Tom Brady, either. By the way, my condolences to those of you (like me) who wasted a first round fantasy pick on Cadillac Williams and his sub-three yards per carry average this season.

31. Oakland. I mean, honestly…

32. Arizona. …What’s left to say?

Quote of the Week

And finally, I recently realized something. First, I’m an idiot. Like you didn’t all know that already. Second, I really need to stop slacking on things when I promise to do them.

During the World Series, a bunch of friends came over to play poker and watch the game. Naturally, FOX decided to give us the pleasure of an in-game interview with each manager.

Tony LaRussa finished his interview, and then commenting on the cold weather in Detroit, jokingly asked Joe Buck and Tim McCarver if he could keep the headphones on to keep his ears warm.

One of my buddies, Tim, was already lining up his one-liner for the meatball Buck was about to leave out over the inner third of the plate:

Buck: “Sure Tony, no problem. Just reach up and turn down the volume so you don’t have to listen to us (Buck & McCarver) for the rest of the night…”

Tim: “Damn Joe – too bad the rest of the nation doesn’t have that option”

Sorry for the delay in bringing back the Quote of the Week. There’s been a decent stream of quotes that I keep writing down, and never actually post.

See you Thursday/Friday with the picks for Week 10.

Lata.

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