Monday, January 17, 2005

Quick Thoughts - 2004 NFL Playoffs - Divisional Round

Thoughts while trying to wipe the Patriots-induced grin off my face…

- Now, you see; THAT’S how you stop the greatest offensive machine of the past twenty years.

- Peyton Manning must have developed some sort of Patriots-phobia by now, don’t you think? I just picture him flipping channels on his TV during his long, long off-season and suddenly running across a picture of Bill Belichick, quickly followed by him falling to the ground and rocking back and forth in the fetal position…

- Wonder if that the same thing he does when he hears it’s starting to snow…

- I have to make a confession: I’m an idiot. I decided the Pats’ game would be the perfect time to place a “get-well” football bet, and to do so, I would have to go out on a limb. I checked all the lines I could find (including the LUDICROUS Pick-‘Em overall spread at game time), and finally decided to go with a series of prop bets. Reading them over, I came across “The Colts will not score a TD: 5000-1 against.” Something inside told me this might not be such a bad bet to put down, but having only $10 left to work with, I thought to myself “Wow, if I had more money to lay on other safer bets, I’d play this one just for the hell of it…”

- Read that last note again. 5000-1 on $10… Let’s carry the zero… and another zero… Oh, so I cost myself 50 grand? Hmmm. Yep, I’m a jackass.

- I ended up parlaying the 5-2 “Neither team will score in the last two minutes of the game” with the 3-2 “Patriots win the first half”. Almost lost that too when Peyton led the Colts on an inspiring garbage time drive that ended, fittingly, with an interception.

- Just for the record, I didn’t exactly “get-well” with the Patriots game either, considering:

o The Jets actually decided to show up on Saturday. Well, everyone but Doug Brien. Luckily, they covered the over.

o The Rams forgot that they had an offense

o Randy Moss showed up Sunday against Philly. Somehow, this was a bad thing.

- You think Doug Brien is at home right now, pulling a Ray Finkle? I can see him sitting at home, with a life size Toby Gowin standing next to him, screaming “LACES OUT, TOBY! LACES OUT!”

- Yes Vinny, THAT’S why I was so interested in the Jets’ holder. I hope you’re satisfied.

- Again, a quick recap of my stupidity:

o Steelers (-8.5), Rams (+7) and Vikings (+8), along with the over in the Pats/Colts, Jets/Steelers and Vikings/Eagles, and the under in the Rams/Falcons. Oh yeah, nailed those right there…

o Gotta tell ya, about half an hour before the Steelers game I desperately wanted to change my pick (and shift some bets) to the Jets’ side of the ball, but unfortunately BetOnSports.com decided to close their lines early. I think EVERYONE saw the clip of Big Ben and his bad thumb and decided to get off the Steelers’ bandwagon.

o I had 8 different parlays going this weekend, 7 of them had the Steelers covering. All of them had either the Pats/Colts over or the Vikes/Eagles over. Bad, bad week.

o 2-6 for the playoffs. Guess that’ll teach me to gloat about the regular season (something Peyton and I have in common).

- I was really impressed with the Falcons ground game Saturday. I know they had the #1 rushing attack all season long, but I thought Duckett would miss the game with his ankle, and I still wasn’t convinced about Mike Vick. I am now.

- Now do you understand why I hate the Vikings?

- And the Jets?

- And why EVERYONE IN AMERICA hates the Rams?

- At least my updated Super Bowl pick (Falcons/Pats) is still intact. I’m waiting to see how the lines shake out before sticking with it or flip-flopping again.

- I’m kind of wondering what I’m going to write about after the patriots win another Super Bowl and before the Red Sox begin their title defense… Maybe BC basketball. Scary thought for you – with all of the success Boston teams have had in terms of titles against St. Louis, is it not an omen that this year’s Final Four is going to be held under The Arch? I smell an Eagles’ title run…! (Ok, maybe not. But at least you’re paying attention now.)

And before the Quote(s)… a quick life update. Last year, for the Super Bowl, I had the opportunity to watch the game at Foxwoods on multiple projection screens and meet former Raiders QB Ken Stabler. I also had the chance to catch some of my all-time best Quote of the Week material from my mother, with her “Someone just won a CAR!” line. (Please, no comments on my terrible writing style back then, just as there aren’t any comments on my terrible writing style these days…)

This year should be no different. I will be watching multiple big screens at Foxwoods, but this time I will have the chance to meet one of my favorite players from my childhood, and the reason I was a (secondary) Buffalo Bills fan for the better part of the 90’s, Thurman Thomas. Yes, I’m ignoring his time with Miami…

OK, the Quote(s) of the Week(end):

So many to choose from… Most of them insult the Colts as a team, but some insult individual players as well.

Let’s see, how about Boomer Esiason calling Peyton Manning “This generation’s Dan Marino”, as Marino sat in studio right next to him. That was good.

Nah, that won’t do. How about the play-by-play team during the Rams/Falcons with "If this was a fight, they’d stop it…” after the Falcons recorded a safety late in the 4th quarter…

Closer – better insult at least. My personal favorite TV quote came from Shannon Sharpe during halftime of the Pats/Colts game yesterday:

“The Patriots getting Corey Dillon was the biggest ripoff since the Louisiana Purchase!”

Perfect. It heralds the Patriots AND insults the French. I can’t ask for much more…

And yet I got it. When the mail came in to the house on Saturday and my mother opened the note from Foxwoods inviting us to the “Big Game”…

Me: “Are you KIDDING!?! Of course I’d want to spend the Super Bowl there!”

Mom: “Super Bowl? Is that what this is for? I thought that the ‘Big Game’ was tomorrow – the Patriots game…”

I have to give her some credit – for all the hype around the Pats/Colts, I can understand how she could’ve thought that was the Super Bowl.

Of course, nobody won a CAR yesterday…

Lata.

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