The best seat in the house is the view from the couch

Clemens in Congress - the Live Blog

12:33pm: You've got to be kidding... Rep. Clay just asked Roger what uniform Clemens is wearing into the Hall of Fame. That's it - this is officially a complete farce. I'm breaking for lunch, maybe I'll come back, maybe I won't.

12:32pm: This is brutally boring. I'm not going to lie to you - I've dozed a couple times. Not unlike some of our older Senators & Congressmen. At least I'm not getting paid six figures to sit here and listen to this drivel.

12:30pm: Hmmm... Clemens has decided to give us a quick autobiography. Wonder if he'll throw in the part where he moved from Boston to Toronto to be closer to his family in Houston.

12:16pm: Wow... blatent conflict of interest there - Carolyn Maloney, a rep. from New York, opens her statements with "As a New Yorker, I'm very proud of your professional accomplishments..." Even better, the previous Congressman was actually trying to give Clemens an out by asking both Clemens & McNamee about the color of the injections. All Clemens has to do was say that the injections were the same color as what McNamee said he was injecting and he could have played the "He lied about what he was injecting me with" card. Idiot.

12:10pm: Oh good - we finally get to find out who the man in the middle is! And... he has absolutely nothing to add. He helped to compile the evidence in the Mitchell report, and rather than actually answer the questions he's asked, he dances around the issue until the time expires. It's like a high school depate team meet when one person doesn't know what to say.

11:48am: I have the worst timing in the world - less than a minute after I "signed off", one of Clemens' lawyers tried to jump in and speak in place of Clemens when Rep. Stephen Lynch (good ol' Boston boy - probably still jilted from Rogers move to Toronto) mentioned a medical examination that concluded that the most likely way Clemens suffered an abcess on his ass was from a Winstrol injection. Interesting...

11:43am: So... one Congressman shreds Clemens, another shreds McNamee, and in between we have the softball lobbing Congressman. It's like people took sides before this ever started, and just decided to further their side with their line of questioning. Congressman Cummins went hard at Clemens with his repeated "You know you're under oath" mantra. Another Congressman absolutely crushed McNamee with constant references to prior statements where McNamee now admits he was lying. And everyone watching realizes that absolutely nothing is going to come of this. What a waste of a morning, not to mention your tax dollars and mine. I'm done here - it's been two hours and we've yet to hear anything worthwhile.

11:29am: Hmm... Roger says his wife was injected with HGH without his knowledge... I give the marriage another 1-2 years, max. Never in my life met a woman willing to be the "fall guy" or in this case "fall girl" and not get pissed to the point of just walking away.

11:24am: It's amazing - Roger Clemens refuses to admit to ever saying anything, and maintains that he has been 100% truthful at all times throughout the whole process. McNamee has admitted to intentionally misleading police, federal investigators, and the Congressional committee. Yet I find McNamee more believable so far.

11:14am: Uh oh... looks like there's no chance Roger Clemens was at the infamous Canseco barbecue. And if this is the only thing that impeaches McNamee's credability, then this whole thing is a joke.

11:10am: Ridiculous shift in tone from Rep. Cummins doing his best to dismantle Clemens to Tom Davis and his softball questions. Not to mention him giggling at a response that Clemens gave to a question ("Mr. Davis - when I'm on the mound, I want an edge." Cummins would have crushed Roger for that one...)

10:52am: Representative Elijah Cummins has asked Clemens three times now if Clemens knows he's under oath, and if he understand what that means. He'd better be very, very careful what he says here.

10:50am: I thought I'd miss Jose Canseco's presence at these hearings, his squinty, confused look everytime he got asked a question. The smug self-satisfied look on his face when he thought he'd gotten a question correct. But this looks like it's going to be fantastic theater even without him.

10:47am: Holy crap - the first Congressman to ask questions is grilling Clemens. Talk about trying his damndest to to catch Roger in a lie! This is fantastic!

10:39am: There was a rumor making the rounds last week that Clemens' new haircut choice - closely cropped, to the point of almost being shaved - was to avoid any type of hair folicle drug testing. Interesting theory, though I sincerely doubt it's accurate.

10:37am: After the swearing in process, we finally get to hear from Roger. And he decides to focus the majority of his statement on generic thoughts on his career and training methods... Such a waste of time.

10:30am: Waxman finishes with "The chair will not tolerate defamatory statements during this hearing" - wait; isn't this whole damned thing defamatory? Even better, the Congressmen on the committe will voluntarily choose to "skip" a couple of "inconsequential" votes on the House floor... Insert your own joke here.

10:23am: Christ... Waxman is still talking. Although at least he's being somewhat fair - he's doing his best to blast (and to some degree, embarrass) both sides of this.

10:17am: Interesting choice of words - Waxman said "If Mr. McNamee is lying...", but said "If Mr. Clemens isn't telling the truth...". The word "lying" is much, MUCH stronger than "Not telling the truth". Wonder if Waxman was one of the Congressmen that Clemens met with for photos and autographs?

10:16am: Love the 64,000-word opening statement. Way to condense it down for us. Just one more example of how out-of-touch Congress is with modern America - not only do most people not have three hours to sit around and watch blowhard politicians use their five minutes of face time for their own purposes in an election year, but they seem to think that the average American public who is watching this today doesn't already know exactly what's going on. It's like they're just killing time.

10:10am: Anybody taking odds on Clemens deciding to just give up and come clean today? 10,000-1? 1,000,000-1? Higher?

10:o8am: And not 10 seconds after I finish making fun of him... Waxman gives a nice speech about a Congressman who just died. I'm such an ass.

10:07am: If ever there was a perfect name for a person, it's Henry Waxman. Not only does he just seem like a "Henry" but he literally looks like he's made of wax. Scary dude.

10:05am: Showtime - gavel meets desktop, and we're underway!

9:53am: Another five minute recap of the past three months, followed by some actual, honest-to-God new information! Andy Pettite apparantely used HGH not only in 2002, as previously released, but also in 2004 - but only for one day. Yep, that HGH stuff is so good, you can only use it for one day and be totally cured.

9:45am: 15 minutes till showtime... hmmm - quick nap or more coffee?

9:42am: Good Lord - this is a 40-man Congressional committee? Is each of them going to be given a chance to speak today? at five minutes per Congressman, that's like... um... 200 minutes of a hearing? Crap - I was expecting an hour, maybe two, then I could go back to bed. I should have thought this through...

9:40am: Finally! We've got two reporters in a hallway in Congress talking! I was afraid ESPN was going to miss the bread & butter shot today...

9:38am: ESPN doing a real nice job of accentuating the "Round Table" feel of this stage - they're basically going around in a circle talking to (from right to left) Olney, Ley, Karl Ravech and Phillips, then back again.

9:37am: Seven minutes, nothing new to discuss. Though we did just have our first Roger Cossack mention... figured that would wait for at least 10-15 minutes.

9:33am: The first upset of the morning - I fully expected to see Bob Ley & Buster Olney on the set, with Steve Phillips an outside possibility. But I was really hoping to see them all setup on a small set in a hallway of Congress somewhere, maybe with Congressional pages fighting in the background to get the best sign making fun of Ley on TV. Shame that they appear to be on some obscure soundstage in Bristol.

9:31am: Oh good - an ESPN highlight/music video montage of Clemens clips to open the "Special" Sportscenter. Didn't see that coming.

9:27am: Just to set the scene a little here... I'm sitting in my living room watching the television, balancing the laptop on my knees, a bowl of cereal on the left arm of the chair, and a cup of coffee in my right hand. Can't see this ending poorly. Nope, no way.

9:16am: Good point here - nice job by Roger Goodell to meet with Arlen Specter today in DC. Little to no chance that meeting headlines any sports pages, anywhere in this country.

9:14am: So, now ESPN has the Ultimate Highlight which by definition should be the highlight to end all highlights. This runs once a week. And they also have the Greatest Highlight bracket. Hmm... has the writers strike affected us all more than we thought?

9:13am: Thank God for coffee...

Labels: Clemens, Congress, Fat Roger, Lies and the people who get paid to tell them, Live Blog

posted by Big D @ 9:15 AM