The best seat in the house is the view from the couch

Well that's enough about NCAA basketball, my brackets are both shot to shit after weekend one, so let's focus on what I really want to talk about, FANTASY BASEBALL...

I've drafted in three of my four leagues already, and I'm confident that in each of the three, I've assembled the best possible team that I could. Today, in homage to one of my favorite sports writers, I'm going to recount the draft in the Yahoo! Sports league that I am running. I kept notes as the draft went on, so hold on tight. For those of you that were there, I'm probably going to tear your teams apart, unless you actually had a good draft.

To start, here's the league info. 15 teams, 162 games per position, 2000IP limit. Each team can have 1 of each position player, 2 starting pitchers, 2 relievers, 2 utility pitchers, 1 utility hitter, and 2 total bench spots. It's a Roto league (obviously, what else) with the following categories... Hitters: R, HR, RBI, SB, BB, K, TB, AVG, E. Pitchers: W, CG, SV, K, ERA, WHIP. So with 15 teams and 14 categories, a perfect roto score would be 210 points.

Welcome to the First annual Big D Boston Red Sox (yes I waited around on Day 1 until leagues were open to make sure I got that name) Roto League Draft! Since our participants are spread out around the country, and today, the world, we are each drafting in the comforts of our own homes or apartments. Lowers the trash talking just a notch or two, but still. Next year I say we get together and do this face-to-face.

Right off the top, we notice that about 6 of the 15 people haven't showed up in time to draft. Tough break for them, let's hope the computer can autopick them a nice team. There's nothing I hate more than someone who drafts a fantasy team only to leave the league and lock all of their players so that other teams can't use them.

The draft selection has been randomized, meaning that Frank has the first overall pick. For those of you who don't know, "randomized" is a nice way of saying "We're going to f*ck D over with his selection". In my own league, I got stuck with the 14th pick of 15 teams. At least the snaking rounds means I get 2 picks relatively close to each other.

Just before Frank's pick, I opened my trash talking by informing that having the first overall pick would give Frank his first opportunity to screw up a pick. I was right. "With the First Overall Selection in the 2004 Boston Red Sox Roto League Fantasy Draft, 'The Hot Corner' (Frank) Selects... Alex Rodriguez!"

Not to say that A-Rod is not a top 2 pick, but this was a predictable pick from a die-hard Yanks' fan. Personally, I'd take Albert Pujols #1 in this league. The offensive numbers are about the same, with Pujols having a slight edge in average, but A-Rod with the power numbers and a better lineup. But look at the positions. Where errors can hurt in this league, A-Rod is switching to a new position at 3B, where he'll have plenty of opportunities to make a boo-boo. Pujols is playing first, where as long as people make a decent throw, he can't screw up. And if it's not a decent throw, it's not an error on him anyway.

Apparently Vinny agreed with me, because "With the second overall pick in the 2004 Boston Red Sox Roto League Fantasy Draft, 'Chindiana Jones' (Vinny) selects Albert Pujols!" That is met with a chorus of "Nice Picks" and of course, the ever-present "Shit, I wanted him". 9 times out of 10, I'm the one saying the latter.

The third pick goes to our first absent GM - Brian, owner of "Mike Greenwell's Foot". Great name. The computer picks Alfonso Soriano. In any other season, Brian would be pissed with this pick, but since Soriano is in Texas and not NY, he's thrilled. Very good #3 pick; gives Brian a shot at the TB crown right away. Next is another absent GM, Chris with his "Soston Bed Rox". Another creative name, coming from the same guy who had the Green England Packtriots and New Bay Patriers in football season. He ends up with Gary Sheffield. Tough spot for Sheff. He's a first rounder, for sure, but for some reason I can't see him in the top 5 this year. There's a ton of offense in that lineup, and he'll probably score about 100 runs. But I've got a feeling he'll spend most of the year with a slashing swing because of the thumb injury. Just my thoughts, if he's the MVP, I'll shut up.

Fifth pick to "Gets By Buckner" (Dom, you bastard) - Todd Helton. Whose career do you think has been helped more by playing in Coors, Todd Helton or Larry Walker? Seriously. I'd vote for Helton; he's still a great hitter on the road, but there's plenty of solid hitting 1B's around. By hitting at Coors, his numbers are certainly padded just a bit. Walker had a good career in Montreal BEFORE going to Coors, Colorado just extended it a few more years.

I always gauge a person's pick by how many compliments or insults it receives. Normally, compliments mean more, but often, especially with this group, a well-timed bar shows just how much that pick meant. Needless to say, I get more than enough well-timed barbs.

Next pick to Tex. Tex is a good friend of mine who knows nothing about baseball unless it involves the Astros or Red Sox. And even then... He's also absent today because he's touring Europe. Tool. Anyway, somehow he grabs Eric Gagne #6 to a round of people complaining about the pick. Honestly, I was secretly hoping that Gagne would fall to 14th so I could just smile and steal him. Eh, I'll get my shot.

The people in this league are an eclectic mix of friends from home, friends from school, friends from work, and school friends' friends. That all makes sense, no? Anyway, the people from home and work are certainly more Boston sports skewed, which is evidenced by this next team name. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Seventh Pick to Tim, or as his team is named, "ARod = AnalRod". Heh heh heh. That's appropriate. My team name in 3 other leagues is "Jeter Swallows A Rod", so... Anyway, he's not here either, so he gets "stuck" with Barry Bonds. Bonds at 7th?? Had him top 5, easy, if not top 3. Total Bases and Walks ARE categories in this league people...

Next up are the "Brookline Dodgers", A.K.A. Rob. Very nice name. Rob is a great baseball mind, one of the few people I know who can rival my trivia knowledge of MLB in the past 20 years. Unfortunately, Rob knows NOTHING about drafting a Roto team, and he shows his lack of skills by taking Carlos Delgado eighth overall. Not that Delgado isn't good, but last year was a statement year, this year is a contract year, and that's it. He'll hit his 40 HR's, but in that lineup, he's going to be second fiddle to Vernon Wells. Don't be surprised if Delgado is traded by the ASB, and I'd look for the Dodgers to step up and make an offer to Toronto.

"Boners House Of Pain" has the ninth pick and takes Mark Prior. Hmm... Isn't Prior going to miss 2 starts? Good thing power pitchers don't need the Achilles' tendon on their back leg or anything...

After Manny goes in the right place, tenth to "NJ Shore Clamdiggers" (Andy), "History Year" (Don), takes Carlos Beltran. This pick really pissed me off. Don isn't even here and he took away my pick. I really thought I could get Beltran with the 17th overall, second in the second round. He's a machine, and he's about to carry K.C. to the playoffs.

Vlad Guerrero goes twelfth to "He Looks Glorious" (Aaron), which is about 10 picks before I had him. Back problems don't just go away in six months, and that constant swinging motion ain't gonna help. Again, if he's amazing this year, I'll shut up.

"SuperPats38" (Jay) takes Jim Thome thirteenth, just in front of me at 14. I had Thome last year, and I liked him so much that after trading him away before the break, I traded for him two weeks later. I know, I know... I'm a tool.

Now it's my turn. My plan had always been take a power pitcher first, followed by a #1 hitter, then a top closer, then fill in my roster as needed with what was available. I looked over the draft board and almost passed out when I saw that Pedro, Schilling, and Nomar were all still available. I've wanted Pedro or Nomar or both in every league, because I'm convinced that both is headed for a career season in a walk year. The problem was, the team after me is run by someone who is as big a Sox fan as me. Who to grab first? Well, I took Pedro 14th, and crossed my fingers. Only two more picks, and then I could grab Schilling, Nomar, or maybe....

WHAT?! "Florida Escape" (Tom) took Schilling 15th and Nomar 16th, leaving me staring blankly at my screen. "Tom, are you even here" I asked. No response. That made it even worse. He wasn't even here and he'd taken my next 2 picks. SHIT. I had to scramble to find a replacement, as people jeered Tom for taking Nomar that early. Finally, I settled on Vernon Wells 17th overall, setting off an even louder round of insults. Hey, I like Wells. I had him last year and he helped me tremendously.

It wasn't until after I took Wells that I realized that there were at least 2 OF's that I would have liked ahead of him, Magglio and Ichiro. Damnit, I'm sunk.

By the time my spot came back around, every single person in my top 20 was taken. I scribbled a note on my draft sheet when I realized I was going to have to forego the closer plan and just start filling in gaps. The note? "Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck..." I wrote that next to every person I wanted that was already gone.

Only one real surprise in the third round; Frank with the first pick in the round taking Aubrey Huff. I love Huff, and he's primed to really have a big year after last year's breakout season. But I think he'd have still been available in the 5th round, or maybe even later. Just my own opinion. I took Jeff Kent in the third and Mike Lowell in the fourth, hoping that between them there would be no repeat trips to the DL. It's never a good sign when your top two infielders have a history of either cancer or being a motorcycle stunt-man.

At this point, Jay took his third #1 starter in 4 rounds. His team now consisted of Thome, Halladay, Mussina and Loaiza. Let's just say he'd win the IP category, if there was one.

Once again, no real surprises until Frank came up in the fifth with Miguel Cabrera. Great young player, but not a fifth rounder. I had him on my radar at about the end of the 10th round. And I don't think he'd have been gone by then.

But then a strange thing happened. An absent GM got truly screwed with a pick. A case could be made for Chris getting screwed with Jeff Bagwell in the third round, but Brian just got stuck with Frank Thomas in the fifth. Ouch. At least Bags is a first-ballot Hall-Of-Famer. Thomas is a first ballot Pain-In-The-Ass. He and Ozzie Guillen should be at each other's throats in about a week or two.

After that, everything was quiet until I gave everyone a reason to talk. That's right, with the 14th pick in the fifth round, 74th overall, "D" takes... Ryan Klesko. At least it wasn't Phil Nevin like last year.

"I like him here" was all I could muster up about my pick. Truth be told, I needed someone at first who could hit, and Klesko was it. He's going to get some protection from Giles and Nevin in that lineup, but Klesko in the fifth round? I might as well have taken Frank Thomas.

Sixth round was my shot at a shortstop, and I was torn between Rafael Furcal and Orlando Cabrera. I ultimately chose Cabrera because of his defense compared to Furcal. Last year Dom had Furcal, Aramis Ramirez, and some other guy who combined for roughly 782 errors in the season; I was determined not to have that happen this year.

Seventh round I got my second steal of the draft. Some people (Vinny) disagree, but I think Jason Varitek, a switch-hitting powerful catcher who doesn't have to catch a knucleballer and therefore has a low error total is pretty solid, to me at least. And in the 7th? I couldn't pass him up. I rounded out my back-to-backs by finally getting a closer in Jason Isringhausen. Should have about 40 saves, if his arm doesn't fall off. It was at this time that someone asked "How does it feel to know that you're not going to make a pick for another 20 minutes?" It was true, there was a solid twenty minutes between each round of picks. Well, at least I had time to go to the can.

The rest of the draft was rather uneventful, most players going where they should have, with the exception of Ugueth Urbina going mid-8th round.

"Has he even signed yet?" someone asked.

"I hope Japanese league stats count here" I answered.

Finally, I got my one good quip of the night. That's it and that's all folks. Be sure to tip your waitresses. Good Night!

So my team ended up looking like this: Hitters - Varitek, Klesko, Kent, Cabrera, Wells, Podsednik, Baldelli, J.D. Drew as my Utility, and my bench of Bobby Crosby and Bernie Williams (a 17th round STEAL). Pitchers: Pedro, Odalis Perez, Ted Lilly, Rich Harden, with Izzy, Danny Kolb and Lance Carter (who I dropped for Rocky Biddle) closing.

All in all, I'll take it. I'm pretty happy, and if not, that's why we can trade.

BTW, I'm pretty good at answering fantasy questions, so if any of you have questions about trades or such, feel free to ask me. I'll try to help, regardless of how it affects my team. Unless of course I'm proposing the trade to you, then I'm just going to tell you to take it, no matter what. E-mail me at BigD29x@gmail.com or else reach me on AIM, you should all have the screen name.

Next week, more bracket recaps, let's see how far I can go.

posted by Big D @ 12:00 AM