The best seat in the house is the view from the couch

Before I say anything relevant about today’s topic, I apologize for my comments about the Pro Bowl. It is not useless. This year's game was flat out fun to watch. And even though there aren't too many big hits, horrible pass coverage, and no blitzing or field goal blocking allowed, I still enjoyed the 107 combined points.

So here's today's topic: When did poker become a sport? I mean, I love the game and all, but I don't consider NASCAR a sport, and those guys actually have to move their legs in order to compete. Poker players just sit at tables and throw cards and chips around.

Here's the thing, I've been playing a lot of poker online recently. Free, mind you; I only use real money on football bets. But it's the challenge I enjoy the most. Winning is nice too. So far my best finish is 64th out of a field of about 4000 a couple nights ago. But for all the time I spend playing, I don't consider myself an athlete now. If, God-willing, someday I am good enough to play professionally, I wouldn't expect to see myself on ESPN, or even any local sports broadcasts. PLAYING CARDS IS NOT A SPORT.

I'm getting quite tired of turning on ESPN during the day and catching episode X of the World Series of Poker. It's gotten to a scary level now where I actually have the hands memorized and know what's coming on the river. I've started speaking in poker terms, which scares me more. No-Limit Poker has become the X-games of the new millennium.

Remember when the X-Games first came out back in the early-mid nineties? Sure you do. Everything suddenly became "Extreme" or "To The Max". ESPN has made a fortune off of the X-games, but at least they're all athletes. I respect every single person who is good enough to compete in those games, because they can do something I can't. Anyone can catch a decent run of cards at a table and win a tournament.

I've also spent a decent amount of time in Connecticut at the casinos recently; hell, it's the only real way I'm making money. I love it when people are talking to strangers, and "Good Luck" replaces "Good-bye". It's like a whole different Casino language. It's even funnier when I'm sitting at a blackjack table and get a great card on a questionable hit, like a 6 with a 15 showing or something, and I hear people say things like "Nice pull" or "Great card you got". Really? I did something other than tap my hand on the table? I thought I had no control over it; why not congratulate the dealer for his shuffling abilities or the person who cut the shoe for making a good cut?

Same thing in no-limit hold-'em. Once you've got your hole cards, there's no skill involved in building a good hand, it's up to the dealer to put them down. So why are these guys respected and suddenly celebrities? I know that if I were walking through Vegas or Atlantic City I'd probably recognize Johnny Chan or about half a dozen other poker players if I saw them. And for what? Because they got good cards a few times in a row? Because they're good at telling if someone is lying or not by a mannerism or idiosyncrasy?

Like I said above, I don't consider NASCAR a sport. Let's see those guys cut through rush hour traffic in Boston, NYC, or any other major metropolitan city. Then maybe I'd consider them athletes. But at least there's a certain amount of skill and control over the game they play. The drivers have to steer, draft, decide on pit stops; the pit crew has to be alert and fast when servicing the car, and yet I still don't think any of them are athletes.

Poker players sit at a table, look at two cards, and watch the other people sitting around them. That's it. They have to make a total of four decisions per hand: fold, check, call, how much to raise. And their only athletic needs are to be able to lift up some chips, count them, and toss them into the middle of a table. And if they get lucky, restack them.

Poker is not a sport. It does not deserve national airtime on ESPN, NBC, BRAVO, The Travel Channel, and a host of other networks joining the craze. And as much as I'd love to be sitting at the final table someday, I don't need to be inundated with the games on 18 thousand different TV channels.

That being said, who's in for a poker night?

posted by Big D @ 12:00 AM